Do we need accountability?
Do we need accountability in Men Of God?
I am convinced that we do
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they
fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
(Proverbs . 27:17)
WHAT IS ACCOUNTABILITY?
Allow me to share two different types of accountability, that men need.
· "Face to face accountability. . ." Being accountable to someone means you sit face to face, look that person
in the eye and honestly, openly discuss what is going on in your lives.
· "Shoulder to Shoulder accountability. . ." Accountability means standing by your brother's side through
thick and thin. One is not above the other; both are equal.
·We can strengthen each other. . ." Through vital relationships, we become stronger, as we help each other through
struggles, temptations and shortfalls, and as we encourage one another towards spiritual growth. "As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17). Did you know that swords can actually get sharper during a sword
fight? How? Because, as they come into contact, they knock off the small rough spots on the blades, and serve to smooth each
other; thus producing an even more finely honed cutting edge. In the same way, men sharpen one another by coming into contact
and "smoothing out the rough edges."
What accountability is not: It is not men getting together and talking about how often they have sex with their wives.
It is not men sitting around naked beating drums. It is not men getting in touch with their "inner child." It is not simply
another support group or Bible Study. It is not wimps getting together and whining about how unfair life is. It is not
men sitting around bashing women.
A few men getting together to share their lives. Men getting to know each other beyond the casual and superficial; beyond
"sports and the weather." Brothers allowing themselves to be challenged, and held to a higher standard than the world would
dictate. Men being honest with each other about their struggles and shortfalls. Men praying together, and for each other.
Brothers growing together toward Christ likeness, reaching their full potential as men of God “Men In Power.”
All of this takes place in an atmosphere of love and acceptance, without judgment. "How good and pleasant it is, when
brothers live together in unity!" (Psalms 133:1)
The Bible tells us to:
Love each other. (John 15:17) Serve one another in love. (Galatians 5:13) Be kind and compassionate
to one another. (Ephesians 4:32) Carry each other's burdens. (Galatians 6:2) Confess your sins
to each other and pray for each other. (James 5:16) Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another
above yourselves. (Romans 12:10) Accept one another. (Romans 15:7) Encourage one another and build
each other up. (1 Thessalonians 5:11) Spur one another on toward love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)
Men do you know that are already accountable to many people: Your family, your employer, your friends and so on. But
those relationships differ from the "vital relationships" we are talking about here. Typically, accountability is automatic,
or "part of the job." The difference with "vital relationship" accountability is that it would not normally occur, or even
be expected to occur. It is voluntary and intentional; not because I have to, but because I want to. It is specifically
for the purpose of growing as a Christian, and dealing with the struggles and shortfalls in our lives. Can two walk
together, except they be agreed? (Amos 3:3)
A common question men ask is why? Being the independent creatures we are, the idea of "needing" other men in our lives
does not sit too well with us. You know the real reason the nation of Israel wandered in the desert for forty years? Because,
even then, men refused to stop and ask for directions? J Men do not want to rely on anyone else
A couple of factors that keep men from developing close relationships are pride and fear. Do you ever have trouble
admitting when you have made a mistake, or that you are wrong? I do. When we get into "vital" relationships with other men,
it will ultimately require us to be vulnerable and transparent, and to admit that we have faults and problems. And that can
be quite uncomfortable for most men. "I don't need anybody else!" Sound familiar? I spent most of my life believing that.
But, time after time, the Bible shows that "It is not good for the man to be alone." (Genesis 2:18) I do not
believe God was simply referring to a man's need for a wife. I believe He was stating our need for each other as well.
The Bible is filled with examples of vital relationships among the great men of God. Moses had Aaron. David had Jonathan.
Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.
(1 Samuel 18:3) David said to Jonathan, I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou
been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women. (2 Samuel 1:26) Paul had Silas, Timothy
and Titus, to name a few. Jesus had the twelve, and an even closer relationship with Peter, James and John. Do you see
that all of the men God used to do great things had vital relationships with other men? They recognized the need for each
other. They did not try to go it alone. Even Jesus, who was fully God and fully man, recognized the importance of vital
One of the great benefits of accountability is that you will look at your life more closely than ever before. It will
raise your awareness of things that, before, you did not think twice about. Eventually, your actions and behavior will change,
as you share your struggles with other men, and pray about them together. You will often be relieved to discover you are not
the only one who struggles in a certain area, and together you can learn to overcome it. This is where "iron sharpens iron."
HOW DO I FIND AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER?
Begin by praying that God will reveal to you a man or a few men with whom you can explore the possibility of an accountability
relationship. Start with the men in your small group or any ministry you may be involved in. (If you are not in a small
group, get in one!) Participate in the men's ministry activities at your church. If there aren't any, talk with you pastor
about starting a men's breakfast, or a basketball night or something that will bring men together in fellowship. Be part of
Men N Power!!!!!!
A good accountability partner candidate is:
- another man; not a female - not even your wife. Am I saying you cannot be accountable to your wife, or any other female?
No, of course not! You must be accountable to your wife (if you are married.) But there are some things you may not be able
to talk about with your wife. Remember: The purpose of these relationships is to help us reach our full potential as men
- someone you like, and enjoy spending time with.
- a peer; someone who is your "equal," and who is not impressed with you .
- someone you respect, and with whom you can build solid trust. Keep in mind that, over time, you will share many aspects
of your life with this man.
Dear brothers, I cannot say enough about the importance and benefits of developing vital relationships with a few other
men. I can tell you this: Once you try it, you will wonder why you waited so long to get started, and your life will never
be the same. You will not regret it!
Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the
more, as ye see the day approaching. (Hebrews 10:25)
Pastor David McGee